Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Hannah Storm is sexay!
When CBS first hired Hannah Storm for "The Early Show", I was one that thought it to be a bad idea, but now I think, that out of the five clowns that host that show, she is the most professional, and I must say "sexy"!
Anorexic women
What is wrong with having a little weight, and looking like a real woman? Nicole Richey, Lindsay Lohan, The Olsen Twins, look like walking death. Put some weight on ladies, start eating grits. It's a damn shame, that for the love of money, that you have to go and starve yourself to death! Being a movie star, and making money, is not worth dieing early, and leaving behind the money you have made, only to be given to someone else. Get a grip on life, and start living. This morning, while watching Regis, Bernadette Peters was filling in for the "anorexic" Kelly Ripa, and Bernadette is looking "anorexic" as well! The world has gone bonkers!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Back-Packs!
I would like to thank the "no-good-lousy-terriosts", who are nothing more than a bunch of "pussies", that have their sights on ruining the world. I have news for you bastards, you are not accomplishing a damn thing! The only thing that you "back-pack-bombers", and "suicide-bombers" are accomplishing is that, you're going straight to hell! What are you morons thinking? Do you think that the God that created you, is going to have mercy on your soul, when you go out here, and maim, and kill innocent people? You are going straight to hell, all you "terriosts-bastards", and good riddance! You have made it to where innocent people are having a difficult time wearing back-packs, but we'll overcome this torture, that you are trying to put us through, and we'll wind up finding you, and kicking your ass, and our back-packs will prevail!
INXS
The band INXS has teamed up with Mark Burnett of "Survivor" fame, and is trying to help the band INXS find a new band member. You can see the hopefuls trying their best to make the band. INXS use to be a really good band, but lost their dynamic when the lead singer decided to Permanently check-out! Brooke Burke, is the hostess of the show has some terrific hooters, and a nice ass, and she really makes the show worth watching. I don't know what it is, but it's rather odd, to see a bunch of over-weight rockers, the last remaining members of INXS trying to find a lead singer on national American television, when in fact, they should be looking for another mate, from "down-under", in the land of "OZ"! Good luck to the "over-the-weight-gang"!
Space Shuttle
Lets us hope that all goes well this morning, with the shuttle launch. It's always beautiful site to see, when the shuttle takes off, but the way the shuttle program has gone of late, it's just a bit scary for me to watch. Good luck NASA.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Penis Study.
The Study In 1997, Harvard funded a study to see why the head of a Penis was bigger than the rest of it. After one year and $180,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex. After Harvard published the study, Yale decided to do their own. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason was to give the woman more pleasure during sex. Mississippi State, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
I'm from Louisiana, are you?
You might be from Louisiana, if.....
YOU MIGHT BE FROM LOUISIANA IF........... 1. You've ever wore shorts at Christmas time. 2. You pronounce Lafayette as "Laffy-ette" not "La-fay-et." 3. Yo! You learned to drive a boat before you could drive a car. 4. You know the meaning of a "Delcambre Reeboks" (that would be a pair of all white fishing boots). 5. You offer somebody a "Coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, 7Up? 6. You can name all of your 3rd-cousins. 7. LSU football.8. You greet people with "Ha's ya momma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"9. Every so often, you have waterfront property.10. When giving directions you use words like "uptown", "downtown","backatown", riverside", "lakeside!", "northshore", "westbank!", "down the bayou" or " 'cross the river". 11. When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold!" 12. Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. 13. You've ever had Community Coffee. 14. You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it (also, Natchitoches [pronounced Nack-uh-tish],Thibodeaux, Opelousas, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya, etc.).
15. You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house. 16. You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen) You Got dat rite. 17. The waitress-hop tells you a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad. 18. You know the definition of "dressed."19. You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.20. The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than HBO. 21. You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off. 22. You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something." 23. You go by "ya-mom-en-'dems" on Good Friday for family supper. 24. You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. 25. You don't realize until high school what a "county" is. 26. You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors). 27. You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people refer to as windbreakers). 28. Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. 29. You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team. (Geaux Zephyrs). 30. You have a ditch on at least one side of your property.
31. You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. 32. You describe a color as "K&B Purple." 33. You like your rice and politics dirty. 34. When given the choice for governor between a KKK leader and Edwin Edwards, it's a difficult decision. 35. You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins." 36. You know those big roaches (waterbugs) can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.
37. You prefer skiing on the bayou. 38. You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard. 39. You realize the rain forest is less humid than Louisiana. 40. You can list all the ingredient's of a gumbo or a jambalaya. 41. You go to the "boat", but you don't plan on spending any time over water. 42. When you're in Baton Rouge you know the difference between the old bridge & the new bridge. 43. If you ever had to wait for the bridge to "come down" so you can get home. 44. If you pull for the Saints (who else would)? 45. If you've ever been to a wedding and someone either danced in a #3 washtub or with a broom! and this was considered normal. 46. You make your groceries, or, wash your dishes,or, have an icebox. 47. You can't think of anybody that can cook better than your momma. 48. You know when it's appropriate to use "Tony Chachere's" (anytime!!!!). 49. You know an old person that can "treat" you for warts. 50. The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab and King Cake.
51. You know the difference between Moon Landrieu and Moon Griffon and know neither is tied to a celestial event. (And know that Mary is Moon Landrieu's daughter, not his widow.) SEND THIS TO EVERYBODY WHO KNOWS YOU ARE FROM LOUISIANA - OR CAME FROM LOUISIANA THEMSELVES ------- THIS IS TOO TRUE!!!
YOU MIGHT BE FROM LOUISIANA IF........... 1. You've ever wore shorts at Christmas time. 2. You pronounce Lafayette as "Laffy-ette" not "La-fay-et." 3. Yo! You learned to drive a boat before you could drive a car. 4. You know the meaning of a "Delcambre Reeboks" (that would be a pair of all white fishing boots). 5. You offer somebody a "Coke" and then ask them what kind: Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, 7Up? 6. You can name all of your 3rd-cousins. 7. LSU football.8. You greet people with "Ha's ya momma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"9. Every so often, you have waterfront property.10. When giving directions you use words like "uptown", "downtown","backatown", riverside", "lakeside!", "northshore", "westbank!", "down the bayou" or " 'cross the river". 11. When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold!" 12. Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under. 13. You've ever had Community Coffee. 14. You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it (also, Natchitoches [pronounced Nack-uh-tish],Thibodeaux, Opelousas, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya, etc.).
15. You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house. 16. You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen) You Got dat rite. 17. The waitress-hop tells you a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad. 18. You know the definition of "dressed."19. You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.20. The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than HBO. 21. You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off. 22. You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax you something." 23. You go by "ya-mom-en-'dems" on Good Friday for family supper. 24. You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. 25. You don't realize until high school what a "county" is. 26. You believe that purple, green and gold look good together (and you will even eat things those colors). 27. You go to buy a new winter coat (what most people refer to as windbreakers). 28. Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. 29. You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team. (Geaux Zephyrs). 30. You have a ditch on at least one side of your property.
31. You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. 32. You describe a color as "K&B Purple." 33. You like your rice and politics dirty. 34. When given the choice for governor between a KKK leader and Edwin Edwards, it's a difficult decision. 35. You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins." 36. You know those big roaches (waterbugs) can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.
37. You prefer skiing on the bayou. 38. You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard. 39. You realize the rain forest is less humid than Louisiana. 40. You can list all the ingredient's of a gumbo or a jambalaya. 41. You go to the "boat", but you don't plan on spending any time over water. 42. When you're in Baton Rouge you know the difference between the old bridge & the new bridge. 43. If you ever had to wait for the bridge to "come down" so you can get home. 44. If you pull for the Saints (who else would)? 45. If you've ever been to a wedding and someone either danced in a #3 washtub or with a broom! and this was considered normal. 46. You make your groceries, or, wash your dishes,or, have an icebox. 47. You can't think of anybody that can cook better than your momma. 48. You know when it's appropriate to use "Tony Chachere's" (anytime!!!!). 49. You know an old person that can "treat" you for warts. 50. The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab and King Cake.
51. You know the difference between Moon Landrieu and Moon Griffon and know neither is tied to a celestial event. (And know that Mary is Moon Landrieu's daughter, not his widow.) SEND THIS TO EVERYBODY WHO KNOWS YOU ARE FROM LOUISIANA - OR CAME FROM LOUISIANA THEMSELVES ------- THIS IS TOO TRUE!!!
Whoopi Goldberg, is America tired of her? I know I am!
This morning, while tuning in to watch "Regis & Kelly", there sitting in Kelly's place, is Whoopi Goldberg, I'm sorry, but I'm tuning you out, Whoopi! You have past your prime, and have become nothing more than that of a "snuff-comic"!
Al Gore is "Wacky"
Not only did Al Gore invent the internet, he is now claiming that he took some instruction from the late Johnny Carson. I don't believe that, nor should you. Gore is a blathering nim-come-poop", and that's all he'll ever be, except for maybe, a "blathering-idiot" See the story below:
By JACQUES STEINBERG
Published: July 25, 2005
SAN FRANCISCO, July 23 - As vice president, Al Gore learned that the most disarming way to counter his wooden image was to tell better jokes about himself than the late-night comedians did. Mr. Gore now says he received occasional tutoring on those one-liners from the master of the television monologue, Johnny Carson.
Mr. Gore said he had telephoned Mr. Carson on several occasions in the mid-1990's to seek his guidance on "timing and delivery."
"He let me call him up and bounce jokes off him and he would give me advice on the presentation of gags," said Mr. Gore, who said he had initially approached the retired "Tonight Show" host through a mutual friend. "It was such a privilege."
Mr. Gore said that Mr. Carson, who died in January, had even given him a couple of jokes. But Mr. Carson's greatest contribution, Mr. Gore said, came in 1994, when over the telephone he walked Mr. Carson through a skit he intended to do before a black-tie Washington dinner known as the Gridiron.
The idea, Mr. Gore said, was that he would be wheeled onto the dais on a hand truck, ramrod straight, and would slowly be cranked to his feet by "two guys in Acme delivery costumes."
"I told Johnny about it, and he said, 'Oh that's great,' " Mr. Gore recalled. "He said, 'When you do it, make sure to wait till they stop laughing.' "
To his delight, Mr. Gore said, the bit killed.
"Part of the shtick on me in those days was that I was stiff," Mr. Gore added, laughing. "I like to think it's passed, but it's not."
By JACQUES STEINBERG
Published: July 25, 2005
SAN FRANCISCO, July 23 - As vice president, Al Gore learned that the most disarming way to counter his wooden image was to tell better jokes about himself than the late-night comedians did. Mr. Gore now says he received occasional tutoring on those one-liners from the master of the television monologue, Johnny Carson.
Mr. Gore said he had telephoned Mr. Carson on several occasions in the mid-1990's to seek his guidance on "timing and delivery."
"He let me call him up and bounce jokes off him and he would give me advice on the presentation of gags," said Mr. Gore, who said he had initially approached the retired "Tonight Show" host through a mutual friend. "It was such a privilege."
Mr. Gore said that Mr. Carson, who died in January, had even given him a couple of jokes. But Mr. Carson's greatest contribution, Mr. Gore said, came in 1994, when over the telephone he walked Mr. Carson through a skit he intended to do before a black-tie Washington dinner known as the Gridiron.
The idea, Mr. Gore said, was that he would be wheeled onto the dais on a hand truck, ramrod straight, and would slowly be cranked to his feet by "two guys in Acme delivery costumes."
"I told Johnny about it, and he said, 'Oh that's great,' " Mr. Gore recalled. "He said, 'When you do it, make sure to wait till they stop laughing.' "
To his delight, Mr. Gore said, the bit killed.
"Part of the shtick on me in those days was that I was stiff," Mr. Gore added, laughing. "I like to think it's passed, but it's not."
Today
Our world has changed, bombings going off everywhere, and what is so ironic is the fact, is that people are killing themselves, to kill others! What are these crazy sucide bombers thinking? Do they think, that by killing themselves that they are going to reach some sort of salvation? One question that comes to mind, everytime I hear of a bomb going off, is where are these "terriosts" obtaining their "sucide-belts"? They must be getting them from someone, but who, and whom? Could someone please inform these "terriosts", that by blowing themselves up, and others , that they are going staright to hell!
Lance Armstrong
I have to admit that I was saddened by the fact that Lance won his seventh, and final "Tour De France", and I say that because it's been a lot of fun to watch an American and a man, with his skill and endurance level to win that three week race. Unless, you have ridden a bike in a "criterium race", or a "road Race", you have no idea, how hard it is, just to participate in one. On Lance Armstrong's personal life, it is none of my business, and sure, I was upset that him and his wife split up, as any good-Catholic, like myself, I just hate divorce, especially when children are involved, but Cheryl Crowe seems to really love Lance, and he seems to love her as well, so good luck to both of them. I have lost my mother and my father to cancer, and what Lance Armstrong's foundation, "Live-strong" is doing is great! God bless you Lance!
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